dear mr. coffeepot

what a good friend you’ve been to me all these years. and by years, i really mean years. i remember buying you when i was just a kid. you were all shiny and new, and just the look i wanted for my new dorm room. sure, i didn’t even really drink coffee then. poor thing, i barely used you-you must have been so bored! and sometimes, when i would think i needed a cup of coffee, you would do your magic, and i would get so busy getting ready/doing homework that i would forget about you..and leave you on for hours and hours. how miserably hot you must have been! but, you hung in there! you were such a sport that i decided to hang on to you even when i got married. all those other kitchen things had to go, but you are the one thing i didn’t part with. no need for a new coffee maker when you’re around! 4 years of college, 2 years of marriage, a baby..you’ve made it through a lot. but i woke up this morning to a major sadness. you were sitting there, looking all ready for the morning…but when i pulled out your carafe, *gasp* there was broken glass inside! ! somehow that mean old husband of mine, who doesn’t even like coffee by the way, broke you last night and forgot to tell me! how’s a girl supposed to make it through a little boy who wakes up wayyyy too early without a fresh, steamy cup of coffee?? oh the disappointment!

i do feel like i should tell you, i was already thinking about cheating on you. it’s just that everyone i know has really cool coffee pots! and it’s not that you aren’t neat…and, like i said, you’ve taken such great care of me… but you just have no idea what’s out there now! cece has a new contraption that makes just one cup at a time…she can have fresh coffee all day long without going through much trouble at all! and grammie AND jen both have these amazing coffee pots that, well, they just do it all…and not only that, they make a superb cup of coffee! it’s just hard to mess it up…and at 5, 6, 7 in the morning, something that i can’t mess up sounds awfully nice! and, oh, my friend, ashley, her’s is red!!!!

anyway, mr. coffeepot, old friend, thanks for working so hard! i’m sorry for my unfaithfulness to you.

yours truly,

samantha

hello?

kids are notorious for asking questions repeatedly like “how much longer?” doesn’t matter if you are on a trip to the beach, grocery shopping at target or sitting in math class, the question is usually asked over and over again. “how much longer?!?” today during history, i had the boys doing some independent reading. both have admitted that they actually enjoy the book we are currently reading, and they can narrate with the best of them. but still, for some reason, they read for like 5 minutes and ask me how much more they need to read. this was how our time went today:

“mrs. samantha, how much longer do we have to read?”

“15 more minutes”

(3 minutes later) “how about now? how much time do we have left?”

“12 minutes, boys”

(2 minutes later) “now?”

“nope, 10 more minutes!”

“10 minutes?! it’s always 10 minutes!”

“how much longer?”

and so on it went, every minute or two for 15 minutes solid. as we neared the end of the time, i just looked them both in the eye and said, “guys! i’ll let you know when it’s time!” and they seemed to rest in that. i guess maybe they thought i was going to forget about them or get too into doing something else that i might lose track of the time. but, i was, surprisingly, on top of it…

so i got to thinking, while the minutes were slowly ticking by that maybe there’s a deeper lesson to be learned from them. i shy away, sometimes, about writing about my “spiritual” thoughts for fear you might think me on the kooky side, or else that you might think my thoughts are straight-up wrong (not sure who “you” exactly are that i’m afraid of…). nonetheless, i’ll be the first to admit that my thoughts aren’t always right-on. it’s a process, this whole growing in Christ thing! anyway, my thought was that i often am like my students toward God. i think maybe i am afraid sometimes that he’s forgotten me in crisis times…or not even always in crisis times, but in those times of silence. i find myself saying, “how much longer? i don’t think i can take much more waiting…surely i’ve waited long enough. i think i have! it’s certainly been plenty of time. in fact, i think maybe it’s been too long-too much time has passed! did you forget that i’m down here still waiting??” i think i’m in good company, though: “how long will you forget me, o Lord? forever? how long will you hide your face from me? how long must i lay up cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day? how long shall my enemy exalt himself over me? consider and answer me, o Lord my God…but i have trusted in, leaned on, and been confident in your mercy and loving-kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in your salvation. i will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” (psalm 13)

a daunting task

i can’t quite figure out why trying to find a church is so difficult. i mean, why is it that many churches don’t seem to quite “fit” us. before i go on, i will say that i certainly don’t believe that church is all about me and my little family… but even so, God has made us all unique, and he seems to have made churches unique as well. i’m not sure that the fact that there are a zillion different churches between here and, well, fill in the blank…there… i don’t necessarily think that is the way it should be. nonetheless, it’s the way it is.. i can’t quite figure that out, so i’m just going to let that be. anyway, back to what i was saying, ryan and i have struggled to find a church that has all that we’d hope for. it seems like we have to give up one thing in order to have another. i know people who visit one church and immediately can say that’s the place for them. meanwhile,  we go from place to place…searching, wanting…and have come out lacking thus far. i’m not downing those people who can do that at all, in fact, i’m quite jealous. i wish we could do that. i wish we could know, but we don’t. or we haven’t come to that place just yet. so, we visit…and settle…then visit around again..and settle. the problem is, neither of us like the settling. both of us feel a yearning for something more, something deeper, something different. and i’m beginning to wonder if we are going to find it, or if maybe we are hoping for too much. is it really too much to ask for a church that is contemplative, actively missional (not just giving, but also going) locally and abroad, with good, exegetical preaching, and a great place for our little guy to grow? somewhere that holds tight to church history and liturgy alongside, but that doesn’t hold to doctrines we don’t think are scriptural? somewhere that has a community we feel a part of? (we realized we have been attending a church for a year and are not any more connected this week than we were the day we started…which caused our decision to visit elsewhere) somewhere that feeds our souls? are we looking for too much?

oh, alexander!

remember that book, alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? don’t worry if you don’t, i had to google it to even get the name right… it was about that little boy who had a day when everything just went wrong. at some point, we all, i’m sure, have have felt his pain! today was one of those days for me, or really half of one of those days.. and yesterday was the other half, so really, it all adds up to one bad day! really, i always thought that being a mom would be ice cream cones and chocolate cookies…and it soooo isn’t. i mean, it is most of the time, but the times that it’s not-oh. my. goodness.

thankfully, i have an ah-mazing husband. he came home after his morning of working and kicked me out…sent me to lunch at my favorite place, an afternoon meeting with some girlfriends, a quick run on the treadmill, and then to get a pedicure! i’ve never really been a person who’s enjoyed going out alone-i like company! but today, it was just what i needed. i read my book and pretended like i was alone in the world for a few hours and it was quite refreshing!

so much to say

my mom let me borrow her kindle this week, so i have been spending a lot of my free time reading on it. whoever thought of such an invention-genius! it’s so handy AND you can have any (or just about any) book you want in your hands within minutes! amazing!

we have had a busy week, though…so just a few updates:

*noah is teething again like a crazy man! his two little teeth have been lonely, so we are all excited to see more come out to join them..even so, it’s not always a fun process. he’s going to bed really early (for him) because he gets reaaaalllllllyyy fussy at night. going to bed early actually has been a rather nice change for us, though, because it means ryan and i get to spend some q.t. together before we hit the sack. we’ve been trying to spend our evenings reading instead of on the computer, though we both have shows we like to catch up on via hulu.com. last night, though, ryan put his book down and acted like he was about to go to sleep, which i thought was my cue to put mine down so we could turn the light off… i curiously asked him what time it was, thinking it was probably around 10:30 or 11. 8:43, actually…yep, we are old!:(

*we have gotten back into running hard core this week. i’ve written about it on my running page, so i won’t bore you with all the details, but it is going really. well. i’ve already logged 9.5 miles, and the week is just halfway through. i’m impressed with myself… though a little more impressed with ryan, who really hasn’t been running much at all (stupid work!;). he decided to hit the trails yesterday afternoon and ended up doing 5 miles… in like 38 minutes! it’s ridiculous how sporty his body is!! anyway, we are gearing up for the mercedes relay next weekend!! nervous, but really excited about achieving this goal!

*funny story, yesterday morning, i got up and went down to the trail to run early, right after ryan and noah left for work. i put some coffee on on my way out the door so it would be fresh and steamy by the time i got back…turns out, when i did get back, i couldn’t get into the house. my key would turn the deadbolt, but the door was jammed or something… it was quite a crisis for 7:30 am, especially since i had to be at work by 8:30. i fiddled with the door for wayyy too long, then headed to my mom’s to use her shower and steal some clothes from my sisters. i had an important meeting yesterday afternoon that i wanted to look very “together” for, so i freaked out about not having any clothes… but, as it turned out, i was able to pull together a great outfit from the fufmiester’s closet! so thankful for trendy sisters!

*another funny story: one of noah and my (or is it “i’s”??) favorite places to hang these days is at barnes and noble, where we discovered (thanks to ashley) a neat little train set where he can play. we decided to stop by there the other day to grab a birthday present and let noah play a bit while we waited for a lunch date with my mom. i grabbed a few magazines (always the hopeful!), and we pushed noah to the play area. as soon as it came in to site, he started trying to climb out of his stroller! there were a few older kids playing (3 or 4 year-olds, i guess), which noah LOVES to see. he is entranced by other kids-makes me wish i had a few of my own .. i got him out and put him down, and he excitedly grabbed a little train car and looked over at the little boy standing nearest. ok, actually, he was staring at the boy, not even moving a muscle-he was so amazed! the other kiddo, however, wasn’t too amazed that a “baby” came to play on his trainset. he looked up at his mom and said, “what’s the baby doing here?!?” she didn’t answer, just kind of looked up and back down from the magazine she was so luckily getting to read… meanwhile, noah’s still staring, as the boy decides that his traincars need to go right where noah is (his little arms were all over the track!)..the boy proceeds to push his little cars into noah’s arm and whines as he can’t get it to go through. i laugh and pick noah up, who, still by the way, is entranced…but as soon as noah’s feet hit the ground, he walks back around to where he was-right in the boy’s way! the boy keeps talking about how bad the little baby is…and i just couldn’t help but laugh. grammie ended up saving the day, though, because she called and said it was time to meet! otherwise, that little boy might have gotten a knuckle sandwich…

providence?

right this moment, i am enjoying what might possibly be the most incredible brownie i’ve ever (ever!) eaten! and i got in the most delightful way… i recently discovered a quaint little sweet shop in soho. i was telling my sweet fufster about it the other day and we decided to try to go today before she headed back to auburn. so, after lunch, we all piled into our cars and headed towards the deliciousness! they have homemade (i’m pretty sure) gelato flavors like caramel heath bar and red velvet cake (with actual red velvet cake in and on it!)… we got there only to find that they were closed. we stood there, all so sad, talking about our disappointment and peering into the window like little kids at a toy store…and there was a lot of “we”-ryan, noah, fufster, mollie, hopie, shelby and shelby (and me, of course!). and then, like a movie, we heard a man, who sounded a bit like santa clause, but looked nothing like him, yell from behind us, “would you guys like some ice cream??” we turn and all say excitedly, “oh yes! yes! yes! yesssssss!!” he and his wife unlock the door, turn the lights on and let us sneak right in! he then gets us everything we want and that is that! i actually got gelato (the caramel heath…just can’t pass on anything with caramel!!) AND a brownie-for later! which, consequently, i am delighting in right now… i heated it up, so it’s warm and gooey, but not too gooey…with melted chocolate chunks in it and lots and lots of caramel… yum yum yum!

as we were walking to our cars, enjoying our incredible gelato, fufster turned and said, “God really must love us!” and i laughed because, well, of course he does… but it is funny how little silly things like this remind us… if we had been two minutes earlier, or hadn’t stood around so long, we wouldn’t have been there when the owners stopped by (who really said that they aren’t open on sundays, we just happened upon them at just the right time…). providence.

it was time!

before:

during:

after: (the camera man failed to get a good after picture…)

ten goals of twenty-ten

yes, i am completely aware that it’s almost the end of january. i’m a little behind in writing these..but better late than never? they’ve been mulling around in my head for the past few weeks. so here goes…

1. read at least one book a month (and not all twaddle)

2. cook a new dish a week

3. settle into a church and get involved with the ministry there

4. get back on top of being a jeweler-i’ve been so out of it the past month or so! (who wants some FREE jewelry?!?!)

5. de-clutter our house, even if that means getting rid of some things…

6. figure out something about jobs/careers/schools for ryan and i both

7. memorize the liturgy at church.. we say it every week! i don’t know why i struggle so to remember it all!

8. read through the bible in it’s entirity..in order!

9. journal at least twice a week-it’s so therapeutic!

10. it feels cliche to write it, but it is really at the top of my list…grow in my walk with the Lord, learn to lean on Him instead of myself, my family, etc.

i’ve read that writing down your goals make you much more likely to obtain them…and setting concrete goals is the way to go. so, here’s to a new year with new goals!

par-tay!

ryan and i have been trying to cook up a way to go on a date for weeks now. with all the craziness going on, we haven’t really done anything fun just the two of us…and we’ve been needing it! we were going to try to sneak in one this afternoon while noah was with his cece, but decided against that yesterday when we got the word that today was going to be a long day for her (with getting noah early this morning, and then roxie later this evening). as it turned out, she and papa g decided to kidnap noah for the night last night, which meant DATE NIGHT!!! here’s what our night consisted of: heating up the lasagna that cece had made a few weeks ago and tossing a salad together on the side (no cooking=yay!), going to yogurt mountain for dessert using a gift card we got for christmas (thanks mom!), and then coming home and watching confessions of a shopoholic! it was a relaxing night which was just what we needed! thanks, cece and papa!

hasta luego, uab!

you have been a rather hospitable hospital, for the most part. even so, i can’t really say i’m too sad to be saying goodbye! two weeks and one day of seeing you every day was a little too much for even me.  i think i could give tours i am so familiar with your mazes now, especially in the icu area…but i’m going to pass on volunteering for such a feat, as i don’t really care for you all that much! i hope i don’t ever have to see you for so long again… all the same, thanks for taking such great care of my dad and sending him home in one piece (or close enough).